"I'm Depressed. Why Am I Still Single?"
"All I want is to find that special someone in my life... THEN I'll be happy!"
That's a bit like saying: "I'll give up chocolate after I'm thin!"
"They should have chosen me for the job, even though I know I don't have the qualifications or present very well!"
Do any of these things even have the slightest chance of happening?... The answer is a flat out "NO"!
You have as much hope of finding the person of your dreams when you have an "I'm Depressed" attitude as each of the above examples have of happening!
Don't get me wrong... you may actually find someone who's prepared to take you... but chances are that they either feel similarly depressed in their own life, or gain personal identity from looking after that which is broken (question: what happens to your relationship if you become "un"broken down the track and begin to feel secure in who you are?)... Either way, neither is an ideal situation.
Let me let you in on a GIGANTIC secret... one that, if you can get your head around, has the power to totally change the way you think dating and how to find "the one". Are you ready? Here it is...
"Like ATTRACTS Like"
"Hang on a minute" I hear you say. "I thought OPPOSITES attract each other?"
You're right... This is a fundamental rule of physics: Opposites Do attract. Positive and negative attract, men and women attract etc. But this isn't the case when we get down to the subtleties of things like one's personality, outlook on life, motivations and core values and beliefs.
While concepts like "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" are catchy titles and give us greater direction into understanding some of the fundamental differences between the sexes, they DON'T fully explain that:
We tend to be attracted to another who reflects (or mirrors) our own deepest values, beliefs, motivations and energy levels (ie those things that we would never want to compromise).... The differences that we find attractive in others usually come secondary. Here we admire aspects of another's character that we sometimes see lacking in our own. Their uniqueness creates extra mystery and intrigue in the relationship.
So, you ask "Why am I still single?" While this is probably quite a complexed issue... the first & foremost question is: How do you REALLY feel about yourself RIGHT NOW? What do you project to the world? What sorts of people do you seem to attract?
I'm now going to be totally honest and straight forward with you...
YOU are responsible for your life on this earth... You can secretly blame your parents, your upbringing, lack of opportunity, too much opportunity... for where you are RIGHT NOW... But the truth is that YOU are responsible!
It is only when you FINALLY stop blaming others, and look long and hard at yourself and acknowledge that YOU decide your own attitudes, behavour and create your OWN opportunities... that you will be ready to see a total transformation.
This section of The Relationship Coach will cover:
...as well as a number of other issues, including exclusive articles from various other psychiatrists, psychologists and relationship experts.
Articles will be added regularly. Also, watch out for the 10-day email course avaialbe soon "A New Me In 10 Days" which will help get people who are struggling with life back with purpose, enjoyment and hope for the future.
Be the first to know when "A New Me In 10 Days" is available and when new articles are added to this page by signing up for your FREE The Relationship Coach e-zine as well as new relationship articles, tips and resources!
Return from I'm Depressed to The Relationship Coach Home Page